Because you just can't make this stuff up.....

And because I can just now write about this without cracking up or have my husband get mad that I would share this…..

Christmas Eve 2009—
That morning my boys were sleeping, I took the dog to the dog park for a good run, and my husband was going to do his wrapping. I wasn’t gone long when my husband calls me and says he thinks he needs to go to the emergency room, he’s cut his fingers. I said I’ll be right home. I was thinking how bad can a wrapping paper injury be?
Not five minutes later he calls me again and says an ambulance has sideswiped a car in front of our house. The ambulance was not there for him.
So I come rushing home to find an ambulance, a police car and the fire chief truck in front of my house.
The ambulance was called for a neighbor’s elderly mother who was ill and it couldn’t get down the street due to the record amount of snow we got in the last few days and cars parked on both sides of the already narrow street.
The driver and everyone were laughing about it saying if they just had an inch or so more they could have made it. The car they hit was from a "hanger on" from a neighbors Christmas party the night before, they had to go wake the poor guy to tell him.
(The elderly women who was taken to the hospital in another ambulance and is doing just fine.)

Anyway, when I got in the house, my husband was bleeding pretty badly from his left hand. When I asked what he was wrapping and what had happened, he fessed up that he was wrapping a joke gift for me. That joke gift was a wooden spoon, because I tend to break wooden spoons by slamming them on the counter to make a point to my kids (better than using the spoon on the kids, right?!).
The spoon had come with some pretty thick shrink wrap stuff on it, so he was using the scissors, open, to slide between the wrap and the spoon to get it off. The scissors slipped and cut into his thumb and 2nd finger.

Since the EMT guys were just hanging out in front of the house, I told my husband to go see what they suggested and if they’d take care of it for him.
He walked out and they told him he bought himself a ticket to the ER, but he’d have to take himself there. They thought he would need about 20 stitches between the two fingers. Since it was a hand injury, they were required by law to ask if he was trying to kill himself/commit suicide. My husband’s response was “No, my Christmas shopping is all done!”
So the EMT wrapped his fingers and sent him in the house.
And I sent him on his way to the ER, about a mile away.
He was there for several hours. Calling me every so often to give me an update and tell me about all the people that were there for a fall on the ice and snow and the shoveling injuries. Nothing as fun and interesting as a wrapping injury.

When he came home he had 9 stiches in his thumb and 3 in his finger. He was so bandaged up – it looked worse that it actually was, and he couldn’t get it wet.
So I had to make Christmas Eve dinner by myself which was ok, but I’m not the best cook in our house! And then I had to get his food ready for him. We always have lobster tails and steak for Christmas Eve. Which meant I had to get the lobster out and cut up his meat - like having another child.

My kids slept through the entire incident, even the ambulance crashing into the car.
The joke over the next few days was “don’t give dad anything sharp”, “don’t let him open that box”, etc..
I did lay out some scissors on the kitchen counter Christmas morning to see if he would notice. He said I was “cruel”.

When I opened my presents Christmas morning, the wooden spoon was loosely rolled in black tissue paper.